Dog Jokes

A little humor for dog lovers,
from dog lovers!

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A woman brought a very limp Cocker Spaniel to the veterinarian.  As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the dog's chest.  After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure.  The dog is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure", she protested.  "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything.  He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.  He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.  As the dog's owner looked on in amazement, the Labrador stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead Cocker from top to bottom.  He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet petted the Labrador Retriever, took him out of the room, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat.  The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the limp Cocker from head to tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook his head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, your dog is most definitely, 100% certifiably, dead."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The dog's owner, still in shock, took the bill.  "$250!" she cried. "$250 just to tell me my dog is dead?!!"

(OK, now the punch line)

The vet shrugged.  "I'm sorry.  If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20.  But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up."

A guy wanted to take his Cocker Spaniel into a restaurant with him, so he put on dark glasses and had the dog lead him into the establishment.

The waiter said "Hey!, you can't bring a dog in here."

The man indignantly claimed "I'm blind! ... this is my Seeing Eye dog!"

"You're trying to tell me" said the waiter, "that this Cocker Spaniel is a Seeing Eye dog?"

"What???!!", cried the man, "they gave me a Cocker?"

Question:  Why do Cocker Spaniels wag their tails?

Answer:  Because no one else will do it for them!

Question:  Why is a dog's nose in the middle of his face?

Answer:  Because it's the scenter.

Question:  What did the puppy say when he sat on some sandpaper?

Answer:  Ruff!

And finally, my favorite Cocker Spaniel joke, ever...

Did you hear about the guy who dropped a Viagra pill on the floor?  Before he knew it, the guy’s Cocker Spaniel licked up the pill off the floor and swallowed it.  Now the dog is a pointer!

Be sure to read our Top 10 Signs Your Dog is Addicted To Tennis Balls

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